Many people make the assumption that it is always best for children to live in a home with two parents who are married. The idea is that having two parents involved in raising the child helps them on all sorts of levels, such as social development or academic success.
To some degree, this is true. It is certainly best for children to have two involved parents. But the thing to remember is that those parents don’t necessarily have to be married to stay involved. After divorce, if two parents are willing to work together and co-parent, putting their child first as they do it, they can still have the same effect on the child’s development and success.
Things may get more complicated because you’ll have to devise a custody schedule that works for both of you and set up a parenting plan so that you’re working together, even though you’re not living together, but that does not mean it’s impossible. The best outcome for your child is always to have both of you in their lives, and your marital status doesn’t change how involved you can be.
Leaving a high-stress marriage is actually better
Additionally, the idea that it’s unilaterally better for children to have married parents is also false. This is only true if the parents have a good relationship themselves and provide a stable and happy home life for the child.
If, on the other hand, the home life is full of tension and stress because the parents are constantly arguing or fighting, then it is actually better for the children if the parents get divorced and the child isn’t subjected to that level of stress. A lot of times, parents are unhappy when they’re in these relationships, and they will actually become happier and better parents after the divorce. They may find it easier to be involved with their child at this point, which is the thing that really matters.
Focusing on your children
If you’re getting divorced as a parent, you can see how the key is to focus on your children and their happiness moving forward. Make sure you know what legal options you have to make this a priority.